Fallout Kid (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} falloutkid) wrote,@ 2008-03-12 19:05:00 |
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Spartan Punk
Cam is in town! Owen came back from a short road trip to Utah and brought him back with him. I have been riding bikes and hanging out ever since. It's been pretty fun. I keep trying to get him to move up here, and he keeps trying to get me to move back home. Nothing doing! Portland is not home in the way Utah is, but it is where I am living.
We have been showing each other different things. He has demonstrated that he could totally kick my ass. He has been taking martial arts in Utah, and he already has an impressive upper body strength. I am built like a Jack Skellington, or Steve Buscemi, and I doubt that I ever really scared anyone with my physical presence in my life. I have been riding bicycles with Cam, and I totally dust him on anything that I ride. He wants to arm wrestle, and I hate it, I always lose!
I have sometimes wanted to not be such a twig, but it has been difficult, I guess. I never felt that masculine. I have fawned over femininity instead, nurturing the parts of myself that do not really make me a dangerous killer type. Not to say that Cam is a macho hooligan! Far from it, he is a reserved and polite person. But he is a tiger that purrs. I can only imagine the damage he could do if he felt threatened. I think I know what I am capable of, and from the people that I have dealt with when I went toe-to-toe, I was just not threatening at all. A sneer, cold stare, and quick thinking has usually got me out of scrapes. However, I have always wanted to be able to take a police officer one on one, disarming them of their weapons and applying non-lethal, but irrefutable force as necessary. That is perhaps the biggest reason that I want to complete my education; I want my animosity to have more potent meaning. However, there is sometimes nothing so beautiful as the physicality of one on one interaction. It is definitely the reason that I like dancing at hardcore punk shows. I like getting hit in the face, I like feeling sore and in pain, combined with endorphins and adrenaline. You can write about a show, but sometimes, you have to feel it in your guts, and taste the blood in your mouth. There is no substitute.
Hmm. Well, if I am going to try to develop the ultimate punk rock spartan lifestyle, I think that it would include training, study, diet, and supplemental vitamins and for the brain. For training, I should expand my exercise beyond my average 80-120 miles of bicycle riding every week. I need pilates, weight lifting, yoga, and perhaps a couple martial arts. For study, I need to go beyond my passions which I read anyways and explore necessary subjects like regional histories, legal structure, current code, anything to understand the nature of the laws and ways to circumvent, disable, change, annul, or modify them. It is important to explore ways to exploit them for benefit as well as to resist the oppressive tendencies. There are stacks and stacks of law books in the downtown library, just begging to be read.
As for diet, I need to stop eating things that are simply pleasant, and actually schedule a bona fide eating plan. Even though I am vegan, I do not believe I eat food that it is entirely beneficial to overall health. I believe I am healthier, in general, but there is definitely room for improvement. There are foods that I do not eat that I should that will help build mass, stimulate logic centers in the brain, stabilize mood swings, increase stamina, etc. I like peanut butter sandwiches and wheat bread, but there is so much more. For strength, I need to look at protein, and for what I could change about my diet to complement my two fold goal of mental and physical ability.
For vitamins, I should look at some good daily pills, some Omega-3s, vitamin E, and perhaps something else. Raw foods. I really need to fully explore the possibilities.
In the meantime, I plan to continue my other daily activities, or to modify my schedule to accommodate necessary changes. I like myself well enough, but I would love to be the poster boy for irrepressible vegan vengeance, not some stereotype of lanky black clad anarcho-vegan pasty white boy. I will be exploring my options, while realizing that it may not be feasible to change at once, entirely, or some things at all. However, I like the idea of change, of becoming something new. The raging Spartan fury, like some counter-culture Renaissance ideal.
We have been showing each other different things. He has demonstrated that he could totally kick my ass. He has been taking martial arts in Utah, and he already has an impressive upper body strength. I am built like a Jack Skellington, or Steve Buscemi, and I doubt that I ever really scared anyone with my physical presence in my life. I have been riding bicycles with Cam, and I totally dust him on anything that I ride. He wants to arm wrestle, and I hate it, I always lose!
I have sometimes wanted to not be such a twig, but it has been difficult, I guess. I never felt that masculine. I have fawned over femininity instead, nurturing the parts of myself that do not really make me a dangerous killer type. Not to say that Cam is a macho hooligan! Far from it, he is a reserved and polite person. But he is a tiger that purrs. I can only imagine the damage he could do if he felt threatened. I think I know what I am capable of, and from the people that I have dealt with when I went toe-to-toe, I was just not threatening at all. A sneer, cold stare, and quick thinking has usually got me out of scrapes. However, I have always wanted to be able to take a police officer one on one, disarming them of their weapons and applying non-lethal, but irrefutable force as necessary. That is perhaps the biggest reason that I want to complete my education; I want my animosity to have more potent meaning. However, there is sometimes nothing so beautiful as the physicality of one on one interaction. It is definitely the reason that I like dancing at hardcore punk shows. I like getting hit in the face, I like feeling sore and in pain, combined with endorphins and adrenaline. You can write about a show, but sometimes, you have to feel it in your guts, and taste the blood in your mouth. There is no substitute.
Hmm. Well, if I am going to try to develop the ultimate punk rock spartan lifestyle, I think that it would include training, study, diet, and supplemental vitamins and for the brain. For training, I should expand my exercise beyond my average 80-120 miles of bicycle riding every week. I need pilates, weight lifting, yoga, and perhaps a couple martial arts. For study, I need to go beyond my passions which I read anyways and explore necessary subjects like regional histories, legal structure, current code, anything to understand the nature of the laws and ways to circumvent, disable, change, annul, or modify them. It is important to explore ways to exploit them for benefit as well as to resist the oppressive tendencies. There are stacks and stacks of law books in the downtown library, just begging to be read.
As for diet, I need to stop eating things that are simply pleasant, and actually schedule a bona fide eating plan. Even though I am vegan, I do not believe I eat food that it is entirely beneficial to overall health. I believe I am healthier, in general, but there is definitely room for improvement. There are foods that I do not eat that I should that will help build mass, stimulate logic centers in the brain, stabilize mood swings, increase stamina, etc. I like peanut butter sandwiches and wheat bread, but there is so much more. For strength, I need to look at protein, and for what I could change about my diet to complement my two fold goal of mental and physical ability.
For vitamins, I should look at some good daily pills, some Omega-3s, vitamin E, and perhaps something else. Raw foods. I really need to fully explore the possibilities.
In the meantime, I plan to continue my other daily activities, or to modify my schedule to accommodate necessary changes. I like myself well enough, but I would love to be the poster boy for irrepressible vegan vengeance, not some stereotype of lanky black clad anarcho-vegan pasty white boy. I will be exploring my options, while realizing that it may not be feasible to change at once, entirely, or some things at all. However, I like the idea of change, of becoming something new. The raging Spartan fury, like some counter-culture Renaissance ideal.
