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- Bought copies of by The Rebel and The Myth of Sisyphus and Other Essays by Albert Camus, and how could I resist, The Trial by Franz Kafka. Camus is going to become a huge source of literary inspiration for the next and somewhat final chapter of my Goldenspike Hardcore zines. It's time to put the last stone in place, and I will not be dissatisfied with my efforts. Provo will have a veritable stonehenge of zines, issues standing on their bottom end, the memory of temples of freedom. They will be available if they want them, but better yet, submerged in some dusty bookstore for thirty years. The kids have such short memory spans.
- Working title for the next zine is still "Peers of Sisyphus". I rather like Trial and Error: Goldenspike Hardcore for the name of the collected edition, a tome of some four hundred pages. I perceive a one-time printing of five hundred copies, and being in debt for over a thousand dollars. Hahaha.
- I am ever increasingly made aware that this is something that I am doing almost purely for myself and for the memory of a dead person. I will let my conscience and his memory rest a little more easily after this one last effort. Next up for zineage will be either serialized fiction of a cat, a children's book (????), or perhaps immigrant stories available on the streets of Portland. This city has a lot to offer in the way of stories.
- I have all of my textbooks, calculators, and general supplies again. I'll probably spend $15 on paper, notebooks and pens, and I'll be good. Tuition is already in the bag (thanks for paying your taxes, everybody).
- Two favorable grades have come back, still waiting for the results from the law classes. Fuck waiting! I need to know!
- Really stoked on philosophy for this summer.
- I will definitely have my shit together enough to do Americorps this go 'round. I keep going by the Habitat for Humanity ReStore on Water Ave. Several times a day, since it is right by work. I would gladly pitch in on days off and weekeends to get the 6-8 hours a week, or whatever it is.
- Talked to my uncle today. It wasn't too bad, but I'm tired of being the gracious one. I got invited to go the reunion again without Owen. I declined to attend without my family. Again. I think that they'll figure it out eventually. I offered to send him an invitation for the "joining ceremony" (is that what you call it???) for Owen and myself next year, and he accepted. I'll figure out the date next week, I think. June 20th, 2010, probably. I don't care who comes or not, but if anyone wants to thump their bibles at me, I'm liable to thump on them.
- Talked to my brother for the first time in a minute. Summer work in Sacto treats him well, and he's still going to go live an hour outside Phoenix, in a house he'll have completely paid off in like, five years. Absurd! My other brother Nathan is enviously eying the area as well. Michael wants to be a high school football coach in the area, and Nathan just wants the American dream to work out. I figure I'll probably end up living in Portland for the rest of my life, and I don't think it's all that bad. This city is revealing herself to me, and now that we're comfortable associates, I feel that we're on the verge of becoming close friends.
- My dad seems to be doing okay out in California..... Aaron is still converting the heathens, most of the Hawaii siblings moved back to California.
- I talk a lot to Kristen Lambert almost everyday. She and I feel like we're becoming a lot more close than we were when I lived at home. I figure a lot of that had to do with impenetrable defenses of a strange little clique that thrived on alienation and seemed to be desparately trying to recruit ten members and cast off two at any given time. I've got some regrets there, but it's just that we're all a little fucking crazy, see? Hey, why don't you try growing up absurd and see where it gets you?
- I wonder if I won't be joined sometime by some kids from back home. Chances are, I truly believe that I am one of the only ones that will have escaped for good from that little scene, although Kristen seems to be the next likely candidate for a post-Utah life.
- I am secretly super jealous of people that have the time to play instruments.
- Ugh, I was supposed to spend today down at the anti-fur demo, but it looks less and less likely that I'll spend at significant time there. Sorry, I suck. I was getting caught up with work and school stuff.
- I need to stop letting all of this planning for a productive activism interfere with actual activism. As far as activists go, I am embarrassedly a piss poor example, in my own estimation. I feel like I should be doing something more than working my job and going to school, but there's so very little time left for anything else. I am afraid that this is a habit that will only be replicated as I progress with academia, to the point where I will be too busy doing "professional" things to be able to devote as much time as I would like on actual grassroots, on the front type of work. I look at the other examples around me, and I feel shamed that I cannot even produce ten percent of the work that they can. I tell myself that it will even out when I can represent them pro bono in the next few years, but it feels like a poor substitute for making a move on the front lines. I think that court room battles can be epic and important, but direct action is really where its at, whether it's staging a protest, marching, or some other underground activities. There's only so much of that I can participate in if I intend to provide qualified, durable, and skillful legal support. Who would have thought that pursuing a law degree would actually close so many doors?
- fighting fit, ladies and gentlemen. Things are on the move. I've gotta get out the door, now, so be good, and if not, don't get caught.
June 16 2009, 23:02:24 UTC 2 years ago
I wish I was close enough to come dance at your wedding.
June 17 2009, 04:28:30 UTC 2 years ago
2. We should totally have a reading group because I'm down with rereading philosophy shit i read 10 years go and more! Gotta keep the brain going.
3. If you zines are like the stonehenge to Provo then my zine are like compost to SLC... or at least they are my compost.
4. Parts of me really wanna offer my parents riverhouse for a place for you an Owen to get hitched (unioned/married/whatever) The place is beautiful and not too far away but it might not be your thing. I think you are both great and just thought I'd throw in my support.
June 17 2009, 05:11:25 UTC 2 years ago
I think that the riverhouse sounds like a lovely idea! I'll totally have to take you up on your frequent offers to visit the house sometime, thereby also hanging out, outside of the meetings!