Fallout Kid (falloutkid) wrote,
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Today a woman told me...

... that her dad killed her sister. He was a drunk that beat them up and did crazy, crazy shit. He would hold a loaded gun to the woman's forehead and ask her to come up with at last one reason why he shouldn't pull the trigger.
     "That's how I learned to negotiate," she said to me. "I told him that I could cook dinner." She told me how she used to keep money on her at all times, at least a dollar, so he could go buy a bottle and go away and pass out.
     She told me that she regretted not killing him when she had the chance. She talked about wanting to hold a pillow over his face one time when he was so drunk, that he didn't even wake up when his cigarette had burned his knuckles red-brown. A few years later, he killed this woman's sister when she interceded when he was beating their youngest sister.
     "If I had killed him, she would still be alive..." she mentioned wistfully.
     "We always know what we should have done; never what we're going to do," I replied.
     
     Apparently, it is that time of the year for someone else, too. She just up and said all this to me. I have sat in classes with her off and on for two years. It must near on the calendar....

     Fuck the holidays forever. I don't even know what to say
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